Tips in Case You Go To Prison

I have a great friend who years ago got mixed up in some bad things and now has to go to a federal prison.  I made them a list of info to keep on mind for when they go just to lighten their spirits and help them laugh a little.  I decided I would post it here.  Now my ideas were inspired from movies such as Con Air, Escape from Alcatraz, and TV shows such as Charlies Angels (the old school show) and Prison Break.  Enjoy!

1.  If they transport you via airplane I recommend not getting mixed up with the man with the mask.

2.  If they ask you to wear a fancy party dress, something fishy is up, I'm just saying.

3.  Tatooing the escape plan on different parts of your body will not work.  Just as the dummies behind that retarded show Prison Break.

4.  If you and 2 other ladies are chained together and running from gunfire, run zig zag pattern and into tall grass.

5.  Throwing gas on your trail will mix the search dogs up and confuse them so it should give you a few extra minutes lead.

6.  Take notes from Clint Eastwood, he portrayed the man who got out of Alcatraz.  Although they never found out if he survived.

and finally...

7.  When it comes to having guest, have them fly in by helicopter.  Look at the publicity it gave Martha.

-Gawdun